Last week at my support group, one of the women there was talking about how she's an "undercover gastric bypass patient" because she hasn't told anyone outside of her immediate family. She said people ask her what she's doing to lose the weight, people who want to lose weight too, and she tells them that it's all "eating right & exercising!" I instantly thought to myself "Wait a minute! Not cool!" but since it was a support group, I figured I should save the indignation for my blog.
Here's the thing. As both a WLS patient and someone who believes in HAES, I think that keeping one's surgery under wraps and pretending that you are dropping huge amounts of weight in a short amount of time just by exercising and eating healthy foods does a great disservice to every overweight person you say it to. And that's why it pisses me off when famous people hide or deny their own WLS (Star Jones, I'm looking at you). Every denial or chipper "Oh, I'm just eating a lot of protein and working out a lot!" from a WLS patient perpetuates the "Eat less and move more and you'll be skinny, fatass!" message that we're bombarded with every day.
I won't deny that I have used the "Oh, I've been eating right and exercising" line. I have used it once, when trying desperately to avoid discussing my weight loss with my father-in-law and his wife. But in general, 99% of the time when people say "Wow, you look great! What are you doing to lose the weight?" I answer them truthfully. I tell them I had gastric bypass surgery, and that it's helping me eat less and eat right, and that I'm totally starting to run. The last thing I want to do is make someone who's struggled with his or her own weight feel like they just aren't trying hard enough or aren't dieting the "right way." I do not want someone to tell themselves "Well, Melinda lost 71 pounds in 6 months so I can too!"
This is an issue that's found its way into the political arena because of Huckabee's semi-mysterious weight loss. Now here's the thing. It's entirely possible that he did some crazy liquid diet and now maintains his weight loss by eating some kind of uber-restrictive diet. But yeah, the evidence I've seen and read about in more than one place makes me think that the probability of him having surgery is pretty high. Regardless of how he did it, I believe with all my heart that he did not do it the "old fashioned way." He had to do something drastic to lose 75 pounds in 6 months, and telling people that they just need to start eating better and exercising more (as he does in his book) is not fair to anyone.
The thing is, I could totally pass for someone who hasn't had WLS. I have some sagging skin but not so much that I look freakish; really, it's not even enough for anyone to notice (yet). My hair thinned out some, but not enough to have bald spots or anything. My color is still great (if a little pale, which it always has been), and what I eat wouldn't give me away in mixed company. But I choose not to pass, because I feel like I need to be honest with everyone else in order to be honest with myself. The truth is, I couldn't do it alone. I couldn't diet the weight off, and it needed to come off to make me healthier, so I got a permanent helping hand installed to help me out. Like it or not, people look to me for answers now, because I am Losing It. The least I can do is be honest with them.
Here's the thing. As both a WLS patient and someone who believes in HAES, I think that keeping one's surgery under wraps and pretending that you are dropping huge amounts of weight in a short amount of time just by exercising and eating healthy foods does a great disservice to every overweight person you say it to. And that's why it pisses me off when famous people hide or deny their own WLS (Star Jones, I'm looking at you). Every denial or chipper "Oh, I'm just eating a lot of protein and working out a lot!" from a WLS patient perpetuates the "Eat less and move more and you'll be skinny, fatass!" message that we're bombarded with every day.
I won't deny that I have used the "Oh, I've been eating right and exercising" line. I have used it once, when trying desperately to avoid discussing my weight loss with my father-in-law and his wife. But in general, 99% of the time when people say "Wow, you look great! What are you doing to lose the weight?" I answer them truthfully. I tell them I had gastric bypass surgery, and that it's helping me eat less and eat right, and that I'm totally starting to run. The last thing I want to do is make someone who's struggled with his or her own weight feel like they just aren't trying hard enough or aren't dieting the "right way." I do not want someone to tell themselves "Well, Melinda lost 71 pounds in 6 months so I can too!"
This is an issue that's found its way into the political arena because of Huckabee's semi-mysterious weight loss. Now here's the thing. It's entirely possible that he did some crazy liquid diet and now maintains his weight loss by eating some kind of uber-restrictive diet. But yeah, the evidence I've seen and read about in more than one place makes me think that the probability of him having surgery is pretty high. Regardless of how he did it, I believe with all my heart that he did not do it the "old fashioned way." He had to do something drastic to lose 75 pounds in 6 months, and telling people that they just need to start eating better and exercising more (as he does in his book) is not fair to anyone.
The thing is, I could totally pass for someone who hasn't had WLS. I have some sagging skin but not so much that I look freakish; really, it's not even enough for anyone to notice (yet). My hair thinned out some, but not enough to have bald spots or anything. My color is still great (if a little pale, which it always has been), and what I eat wouldn't give me away in mixed company. But I choose not to pass, because I feel like I need to be honest with everyone else in order to be honest with myself. The truth is, I couldn't do it alone. I couldn't diet the weight off, and it needed to come off to make me healthier, so I got a permanent helping hand installed to help me out. Like it or not, people look to me for answers now, because I am Losing It. The least I can do is be honest with them.
