I was thinking a lot today about how drastically the way I eat will have to change once I have the surgery done. And there's a part of me that wonders if I will really be able to do what I need to do. The cynical side of me is screeching that if I can't control myself around my trigger foods now, what makes me think I'll be able to control myself after the surgery? What makes me think that the surgery will magically make me eager to exercise?
And then I remember the whole reason I want this is because the surgery will help prevent me from doing what I do now. If my body is unable to process the fatty, sugary food that is my weakness, then I will not be able to keep eating it. It's like....if you're deathly allergic to peanuts, you don't eat peanut butter no matter how much you want it. If I know that lovely, perfectly frosted, decadently rich chocolate cupcake is going to leave me huddle in the bathroom either throwing up or pooping unendingly, then I'm not going to eat it. Because I will essentially be allergic to the foods that make me weak in the knees, I will finally be able to say no to them.
As for the exercise...well, it will be part of my rehab. Major surgery will require rehab after it, and the exercise will be part of that rehab. Here's the thing...right now, I have this very limited amount of time after work to get home, make dinner, clean up after dinner and then do a few things like pay bills, etc. After the surgery, that whole cooking dinner thing won't be such a bog deal because hello, protein shakes! My husband will have to fend for himself for awhile as far as dinner goes, while I'm out taking a nice long walk.
Today we went out to brunch with my father in law and his wife, and I caught myself practicing my super-chewing that is going to be part of my life afterwards. The chewing and the sipping of water (rather than the gulping I do these days) are the two things that will probably be the weirdest changes for me.
It's sort of amazing to me, the way I have completely committed myself to this idea. I do not think about it as "If I have surgery...", I think of it as "When I have the surgery..." I've researched surgeons and picked out the ones I want to go to, and this week I'll be contacting my insurance to get the ball rolling. From what I've read, they seem to be relatively good about approving people on the first application but since my plan is actually company paid but adminstered by InsuranceCo. who knows what the requirements might actually be. On the good side, I have a PPO so I don't think I have to get any referrals from my PCP. Either it'll take me a year or more to get a surgery date or it'll take me a matter of months. We'll see.
And then I remember the whole reason I want this is because the surgery will help prevent me from doing what I do now. If my body is unable to process the fatty, sugary food that is my weakness, then I will not be able to keep eating it. It's like....if you're deathly allergic to peanuts, you don't eat peanut butter no matter how much you want it. If I know that lovely, perfectly frosted, decadently rich chocolate cupcake is going to leave me huddle in the bathroom either throwing up or pooping unendingly, then I'm not going to eat it. Because I will essentially be allergic to the foods that make me weak in the knees, I will finally be able to say no to them.
As for the exercise...well, it will be part of my rehab. Major surgery will require rehab after it, and the exercise will be part of that rehab. Here's the thing...right now, I have this very limited amount of time after work to get home, make dinner, clean up after dinner and then do a few things like pay bills, etc. After the surgery, that whole cooking dinner thing won't be such a bog deal because hello, protein shakes! My husband will have to fend for himself for awhile as far as dinner goes, while I'm out taking a nice long walk.
Today we went out to brunch with my father in law and his wife, and I caught myself practicing my super-chewing that is going to be part of my life afterwards. The chewing and the sipping of water (rather than the gulping I do these days) are the two things that will probably be the weirdest changes for me.
It's sort of amazing to me, the way I have completely committed myself to this idea. I do not think about it as "If I have surgery...", I think of it as "When I have the surgery..." I've researched surgeons and picked out the ones I want to go to, and this week I'll be contacting my insurance to get the ball rolling. From what I've read, they seem to be relatively good about approving people on the first application but since my plan is actually company paid but adminstered by InsuranceCo. who knows what the requirements might actually be. On the good side, I have a PPO so I don't think I have to get any referrals from my PCP. Either it'll take me a year or more to get a surgery date or it'll take me a matter of months. We'll see.
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