Dream deferred
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Yesterday I was walking with my friend Tracey, the coworker who's doing the Breast Cancer 3-Day with me this year. She's already registered, but I still haven't managed to, mostly because I keep forgetting to do it when I actually have the money for it. I usually remember right after dropping a bunch of money on shoes. Or makeup. Essentials, you know.

Anyway, the walk is in November. And my surgery will (hopefully) be in July, so I figured that hey, no problem! I can walk 60 miles in November! It'll be almost 4 months after surgery, which means at least 60 pounds lighter, which means AWESOMENESS and easier walking. And so I started working out now, walking and doing aerobics and being all healthy with the food because if I get in good shape before the surgery then I can recover super fast and be all kinds of fit and ready to walk those 60 miles. And the hills! This year I will do all the hills! Because I will be so much skinnier!

Now, this is going to be my third time doing the 3-Day. I did pretty good for a fat girl, especially considering that the first year I ended up with gaping wounds on the arches of my feet which made the medical team pull me off the walk for an entire day. The second time I did way better, and I think we figured out that we walked somewhere between 45-50 of the 60+ miles. Both times it was the hardest, most insane, fantastic thing I've ever done. So I'm really looking forward to doing it this year, especially considering I'll be doing it lighter than I've been in 10 years if all goes as planned.

But yesterday I realized that maybe I'm being too optimistic. As I told Tracey, I'm pretty much going to have to bring my own food for the entire weekend, since I won't be able to eat the plates of pasta that they like to load us down with, or the yummy, yummy PB&J sandwiches they hand out as snacks along the way. No oranges either, and no salty potato chips to help replace my electrolytes. So okay, I'll pack my fanny pack with protein bars, right? Except oh my GOD, you burn what you eat so fast! I already felt like I was constantly eating when I did the walk with a normal sized stomach, but I think I would literally have to be eating every half hour to have enough energy to make it through.

But what worries me even more than the eating is the hydration. When you walk up a big giant hill and it's hot and you are sweating so much that there is salt crusting your skin, tiny sips of water are not enough to keep you from dying. You need big giant gulps, alternated with gulps of Gatorade or PowerAde or something else with those precious, precious electrolytes in it or else you end up hallucinating in the medical tent while they hook you up to an IV.

So the only way I can see myself being able to make it through this is by doing the entire walk with a protein bar (or shake or something) in one hand and a bottle of water in the other hand, and me taking a bite every 5th step and a sip every 10th step. And quite frankly, I am just not that coordinated (see: broken wrist of 2006 & broken ankle of 2002, both suffered while I was walking without distractions).

I'm a little heartbroken that it seems that this will not be the year that I finally do all 60 miles, because I have a feeling that when I sit down with Dr. M and discuss this he's either going to say don't do it or he's going to limit me to something like 8 miles a day, either of which are both bummers. And I know, I know, I can do the walk again next year and that will be my year to conquer the entire 60 miles. But...I wanted to do it this year. I wanted to conquer it this year with my brand new body.

I've waited long enough, dammit.


2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you eat raw nuts, like almonds or cashews? What about dried fruit (do they make that without a ton of sugar)? I bet you'll be able to do it. You have the benefit of the experience behind you.

I did the walk in 2001 in NY and I don't remember gulping water as much as I sipped a lot. Also, it was NY in October and I froze my face off. So, different set of circumstances and all that.

I know how fantastic the experience is and I hope you can find a way to make it work.

Lisa aka deathbychoc

P.S.

I made those pumpkin cookies a few weeks back and they totally rocked. Totally. I brought them in to work and everyone devoured them. Thanks again for sharing your recipe.

Blogger Melinda said...

You know, I don't know about the nuts. I may be healed enough by then to have them, but the dried fruit I'm pretty sure will be a no-no just because even without added sugars I'm pretty sure there's way too much sugar in there for post-ops to eat.

I'm thinking that I will be able to walk at least part of it, as long as my surgeon is okay with it. I'm just going to have to stay really aware of my hydration levels and give myself permission to not walk every last mile.

Oh, the cookies! Yes, they are amazing. I keep meaning to make a batch because that will be a sad goodbye.

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