Have I mentioned that I loathe going and sitting through my Weight Watchers meetings? Yeah, I know, I've mentioned it ad naseum. But oh dear loard, it's even worse now! Because I know this progam inside and out and I sit there and I give hints and advice to people, totally sane and rational advice, and the whole time I'm doing it this cynical voice inside of me wants to follow it up by yelling "But it's totally not going to work for you!"
But I don't because maybe it will work for them. Maybe.
My husband thinks that maybe I just have short-timer's diseases, that maybe now that there is an end in sight and I've basically been told that hey, don't need to do that anymore I'm just writing the program off. And he's probably right, because I'm really not following the plan at all, I'm just going in for the weigh-ins at this point. And I do not know why I am even doing that because hello, I have a perfectly awesome digital scale at home that I weigh in on every Tuesday morning (as opposed to Thursday evening).
Actually, I do know why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because I'm afraid that my insurance is going to get all Godzilla on me and respond to my surgeon's authorization request by walking around yelling "GRAH!" while stomping on buildings and blowing flames all over the place and the only thing that will make them stop and say okay is my WW Booklet O' Shame filled with consistent weigh-ins.
I wish I had Sarah's confidence, because she is so sure I will get approved within the next 10 days that she has PUT ME ON DR. M'S SCHEDULE. She has scheduled me for surgery and now Dr. M has a little note saying "Cut Melinda open and rearrange her insides" on his calendar. And I have an appointment for the pre-surgery class he requires me to take. And...I have a date. I have a date that I can roll around on my tongue like a watermelon Jolly Rancher. A date that I can highlight on my personal calendar, a date I can draw goofy doodles on in our calendar at home that keeps track of everything we are doing forever. I have a date but I am scared to shout it out to the world because what if I jinx it and I get Insurance Godzilla action instead?
July 9th.
I KNOW!! It's practically 3 hours away! And I have nothing done! Oh wait, I did take care of the making (and eating) of some damn fine pumpkin cookies. So hey, there's one thing off the to do list.
Maybe next I should stock up on some underwear that will actually fit me come August.
(July 9th!!!! Eek!)
But I don't because maybe it will work for them. Maybe.
My husband thinks that maybe I just have short-timer's diseases, that maybe now that there is an end in sight and I've basically been told that hey, don't need to do that anymore I'm just writing the program off. And he's probably right, because I'm really not following the plan at all, I'm just going in for the weigh-ins at this point. And I do not know why I am even doing that because hello, I have a perfectly awesome digital scale at home that I weigh in on every Tuesday morning (as opposed to Thursday evening).
Actually, I do know why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because I'm afraid that my insurance is going to get all Godzilla on me and respond to my surgeon's authorization request by walking around yelling "GRAH!" while stomping on buildings and blowing flames all over the place and the only thing that will make them stop and say okay is my WW Booklet O' Shame filled with consistent weigh-ins.
I wish I had Sarah's confidence, because she is so sure I will get approved within the next 10 days that she has PUT ME ON DR. M'S SCHEDULE. She has scheduled me for surgery and now Dr. M has a little note saying "Cut Melinda open and rearrange her insides" on his calendar. And I have an appointment for the pre-surgery class he requires me to take. And...I have a date. I have a date that I can roll around on my tongue like a watermelon Jolly Rancher. A date that I can highlight on my personal calendar, a date I can draw goofy doodles on in our calendar at home that keeps track of everything we are doing forever. I have a date but I am scared to shout it out to the world because what if I jinx it and I get Insurance Godzilla action instead?
July 9th.
I KNOW!! It's practically 3 hours away! And I have nothing done! Oh wait, I did take care of the making (and eating) of some damn fine pumpkin cookies. So hey, there's one thing off the to do list.
Maybe next I should stock up on some underwear that will actually fit me come August.
(July 9th!!!! Eek!)
3 Comments:
July 9th is practically tomorrow but then it's over so fast you'll wonder what you obsessed over to start with.
But in the meantime, HOLYCRAPJULY9THHOLYCRAP! :)
YOU HAVE A DATE! WOOHOOO.. too cool! I'll be checking back to make sure that there was no crazy Godzilla action to mess this up for you - keeping a good thought for you and the Insurance Gods!
Hooray! A date! I have been thinking good thoughts for you for months and I will continue to do so.
But dude, no more pumpkin cookies ever? Not even, like, just two?
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