You know what's weird?
What's weird is that in all of my research that I did before I finally decided on the RNY, I never managed to realize that the topic of weight loss surgery is basically a battlefield.
On the one side are the people who truly believe with every bit of their being that WLS is bad and evil and unnecessary. They can pull out piles of testimonials from people who had horrible, terrible outcomes; they will tell you repeatedly about the worst complications that can happen, and death is not the worst of them. They will call WLS mutilation and amputation and deformation, because it is the worst thing they can imagine anyone doing to themselves.
On the other side are the people who think that WLS is nothing short of a miracle, the answer to every medical problem ever associated with being obese. They will tell you about the dozens of people they know who had the surgery and are doing GREAT and are happy and healthy. They will point out that complications are part of any surgery, that overall statistics are highly favorable.
That first group would be quick to tell me that I have doomed myself by having the RNY done. I would be regaled with stories about vitamin deficiencies and intestinal blockages and staple leaks that will surely make my life miserable over the next few years. My own stories about friends who are 2, 5, even 10 years out and in fantastic health will fall on deaf ears, or will be called anomalies.
The second group would be sure to heap praise on me, and ask me when I was going to convince my mother that she needed to do it to because it will make her life so much better! She should do it right now! They would be sure to preach to me about how horrible fat is, how it ruins your health and your life and everything is better forever once you have the surgery.
I somehow managed to never notice that these two sides are as bitter and angry towards each other as red states and blue states. And now, I find myself firmly in the Green Zone between them. I just wish that both of the groups would wake the hell up and realize that they're both totally wrong and both totally right. If there's one thing I learned when I was trying to decide about the surgery, it's that there is no right answer for everyone. For some people, it truly is a life-saving procedure because they are suffering from so many problems related to their weight that they are dying and this gives them their life back. For others, it turns into a nightmare of complications that leaves them more miserable than before. That's just the facts, ma'am.
I am not someone who believes that every fat person is unhealthy, because I've been an active, athletic and healthy fat girl for my entire life. Hell, I've been healthier than most of my thinner friends. But I cannot deny that being morbidly obese can and does cause health problems, because I have watched my mother suffer for years from ailments directly related to her weight. I have seen the pain, watched the pill taking, heard the wheezing when she gets worn out. She is a wonderful person, and she is the reason for the self confidence I've always had, but even she would not be able to deny that her weight has affected her quality of life. And I saw myself heading down that same path, and I had to find a way to stop it, and WLS was how I did it.
That said...I have to admit that as happy as I am with my WLS outcome, there are times when I wish that I had been able to do what my coworker/friend has been able to do. Sometimes I wish that I had been able to buckle down and work out and eat according to a strict diet and lose the weight as well as she has been. For her, that worked, and the idea of having surgery to help her is foreign. And yet, we are both able to support each other and cheer each other on, because we're both in the Green Zone. We're not taking sides, we're not preaching, we're just...existing, and doing what we've decided we need to do for ourselves.
If only everyone was, because the last thing we all need during this whole weight loss journey thing is a bunch of arguments over the "right way" to do it. It's time for people to shut their mouths and stop telling other people what they should do, you know? That energy could be better spent taking care of yourself instead.
Just something to think about.
What's weird is that in all of my research that I did before I finally decided on the RNY, I never managed to realize that the topic of weight loss surgery is basically a battlefield.
On the one side are the people who truly believe with every bit of their being that WLS is bad and evil and unnecessary. They can pull out piles of testimonials from people who had horrible, terrible outcomes; they will tell you repeatedly about the worst complications that can happen, and death is not the worst of them. They will call WLS mutilation and amputation and deformation, because it is the worst thing they can imagine anyone doing to themselves.
On the other side are the people who think that WLS is nothing short of a miracle, the answer to every medical problem ever associated with being obese. They will tell you about the dozens of people they know who had the surgery and are doing GREAT and are happy and healthy. They will point out that complications are part of any surgery, that overall statistics are highly favorable.
That first group would be quick to tell me that I have doomed myself by having the RNY done. I would be regaled with stories about vitamin deficiencies and intestinal blockages and staple leaks that will surely make my life miserable over the next few years. My own stories about friends who are 2, 5, even 10 years out and in fantastic health will fall on deaf ears, or will be called anomalies.
The second group would be sure to heap praise on me, and ask me when I was going to convince my mother that she needed to do it to because it will make her life so much better! She should do it right now! They would be sure to preach to me about how horrible fat is, how it ruins your health and your life and everything is better forever once you have the surgery.
I somehow managed to never notice that these two sides are as bitter and angry towards each other as red states and blue states. And now, I find myself firmly in the Green Zone between them. I just wish that both of the groups would wake the hell up and realize that they're both totally wrong and both totally right. If there's one thing I learned when I was trying to decide about the surgery, it's that there is no right answer for everyone. For some people, it truly is a life-saving procedure because they are suffering from so many problems related to their weight that they are dying and this gives them their life back. For others, it turns into a nightmare of complications that leaves them more miserable than before. That's just the facts, ma'am.
I am not someone who believes that every fat person is unhealthy, because I've been an active, athletic and healthy fat girl for my entire life. Hell, I've been healthier than most of my thinner friends. But I cannot deny that being morbidly obese can and does cause health problems, because I have watched my mother suffer for years from ailments directly related to her weight. I have seen the pain, watched the pill taking, heard the wheezing when she gets worn out. She is a wonderful person, and she is the reason for the self confidence I've always had, but even she would not be able to deny that her weight has affected her quality of life. And I saw myself heading down that same path, and I had to find a way to stop it, and WLS was how I did it.
That said...I have to admit that as happy as I am with my WLS outcome, there are times when I wish that I had been able to do what my coworker/friend has been able to do. Sometimes I wish that I had been able to buckle down and work out and eat according to a strict diet and lose the weight as well as she has been. For her, that worked, and the idea of having surgery to help her is foreign. And yet, we are both able to support each other and cheer each other on, because we're both in the Green Zone. We're not taking sides, we're not preaching, we're just...existing, and doing what we've decided we need to do for ourselves.
If only everyone was, because the last thing we all need during this whole weight loss journey thing is a bunch of arguments over the "right way" to do it. It's time for people to shut their mouths and stop telling other people what they should do, you know? That energy could be better spent taking care of yourself instead.
Just something to think about.
3 Comments:
Wow, really good post. Definitely in agreement with you here.
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Dagny
I totally agree with you. There is no "right way" or "wrong way", there is only the right way for each individual person. Life's messy like that.
I'm sure you're doing much more than "just ... existing", Melinda; you're living, thriving and enjoying your life more than ever!!
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